The first one was normal, so moving on.
The second one, INSANE. Like, officially batshit IN-SANE.
Before coming in, she calls and one of my coworkers picks up, she asks "What do you have here besides pancakes" and he lists some shit off. Whatever.
So she comes in like, 10 minutes later, she seats herself on the side that is closed. Two of my pet peeves, check.
She's skinny, maybe in her late thirties, early forties, her hair is wiry and short, very short, like, a buzz cut. She's pale and has hollowed eyes. I already know she's gonna be trouble.
But thank god, I thought, she's not my table. Untill she requests me because I'm a woman.
Oooookay. So I go to her. As soon as she talks I know she's insane. She speaks in a whisper, and gets flinchy when I speak in a tone higher than her own.
"Oh good, you were standing right there. I thought there were no women here."
She then goes on about the difference between two items, the sampler and the big breakfast. It takes her forever to understand that the big breakfast has more meat, and the sampler comes with pancakes. But she doesn't want buttermilk, or anything with buttermilk. I want to get the fuck away from her so I tell her the chocolate chip pancakes have no buttermilk in it. She finally decides on a sampler with chocolate chip pancakes.
Did I mention she also gave off an incredibly creepy aura to her. She was fucking scary.
She asks to be cashed out before I even finish writing in the order, she wants me to cash her out because she trusts me more because I was a woman.
She signs her name where you're supposed to write the tip. I mention this to her, and she freaks out a little, claiming it's ok. I can tell she really doesn't want to sign her name again, so I accept it. I just want her to go away. But I can't get away from her.
I give her the food as quickly as I can and walk away, no problems I can recall there.
But when I come back to check on her, I get more concerned. She's eating everything only with a knife, no fork, nothing else, she has the hash browns scooped up on her knife like it was a spoon. She asks me if she ate the sausage, because apparently I was watching her eat that. I saw that there was no sausage, so I told her I guess she did. She tells me she was starving. I walk away and shudder again.
I get another customer that comes in. A huge bitch. Also insane, but doesn't cause me trouble until later on in the story. When she sits down, I try to introduce myself and ask her if she wants something to drink, but before I get a word out, she snaps at me that she's not ready.
Back to crazy buzz cut lady.
I go back to her, she tells me she doesn't want the chocolate chip pancakes, because she thought it was dark chocolate chips, she then adds that gives her a good reason to return them. She asks for buttermilk instead. I told her I couldn't get her charges back, so I give her a dollar fifty of my own money to compensate the price. She asks for the butter on the side because she might change her mind because "women are prone to change their minds like that"
What the fuck. I'm a woman, not a different species.
I give her the buttermilk pancakes, she thanks me, a little too sincerely, as if I had saved her life or something.
At the end, she also asked for coffee, she used the money I gave her, even though she was short. I tried to explain that to her but she freaked out again. She wanted the cup filled 3/4ths full. She tells me this as I'm filling it and she screams when I fill it a bit too high.
I get her a new cup and fill it again, perfectly.
Then I get the fuck away from her, go in the storage room and call my friend about this.
I know, I'm a terrible worker, but I was really scared.
Anyways, I had already dropped off the check for the other lady that came in, the crazy bitch. So I assume I'm not needed until another customer comes in.
Wrong. My coworker comes in and tells me that the bitch table is looking for her bag. It's a black china bag. Or he says that. So I look around and tell the woman I can't find it. She glares at me and says "You better, or it will be your money" I'm like "excuse me?" (she said it quietly) But she doesn't repeat it and just tells me its a black bag and it says made in china on it. I continue to look around and find nothing. I apologize to the woman and ask her if she remembers bringing it into the restaurant. Apparently I strung a chord.
She says "of course I did! Are you doubting my memory!? I'm sure you of all people should know that" She goes on, implying that I stole her fucking bag. She cashes out and complains about me. Jesus fucking Christ. I'd never steal from a customer, especially if they were still there. And what would I do with a shitty black bag made in china?
Also, both tables stiffed me, the first one technically took my money.
I fucking hate work.